What is Mindfulness and how can it help me negotiate the litigation minefield? Mindfulness involves having a clear, non-judgmental awareness of your inner and outer worlds. Some describe Mindfulness as being “in the zone” or in a “flow state.” For those of us in the legal profession, it often means dealing with conflict from a receptive rather than reactive point of view. So how does that help lawyers and clients in mediation? Mediation is about trying to find common ground. Winning and losing is not
When can the child decide custody?
The simple answer is NEVER. Neither the parties nor the lawyers in a child custody dispute can divest or take away the Court’s authority to determine what is in the best interest of the child. However, a child may be a witness in a custody or visitation hearing. There is no age under North Carolina Law where a child has a right to testify. Even very young children can testify provided they can demonstrate to the Court that they know the difference between a lie
Black & White vs. Color
I have come to the conclusion that the internet is black & white. Life, on the other hand, is Technicolor. Big issues are rarely simple. Big questions do not usually come with simple yes or no answers. That is what makes today’s political divide so unproductive and dangerous. Increasingly, people discuss (that is a kind word for it) these thorny issues on social media and any opposing opinions are deemed wrong, stupid or evil. On a personal level, we can fall into the trap of
Uncertainty vs. Co-Parenting
You’ve got to ask yourself one question, “Do I feel lucky?” If not, it is best not to gamble in the first place. Unless you feel like you have a chance to “win”, you would never roll the dice, spin the wheel or buy the lottery ticket. My question to folks dealing with child custody and co-parenting goes one step further: Do you want your children’s welfare left to luck? Of course, that is not entirely fair. The court system is about much more
Merry Christmas From Irvine Law Firm
Divorced Parents – Sullen Teenager
So your teen is acting moody and distant. That is not unexpected. Your teen may be reluctant to share with you because: (1) The other parent tells him not to; (2) He fears it will result in you then confronting the other parent; or (3) He is experiencing some inexplicable teenage drama that (in his mind) you would never understand. Sometimes you simply need to just move past his sullen attitude. Try not to let it influence your mood or the way you interact with
What’s The Deal With Common Law Marriage?
You probably have heard about common law marriage. You probably have a vague idea what it means. But, is it a real marriage? The answer depends on: (1) where you are now; (2) where you were when the common law marriage started; and (3) whether you did the things required by state law. State law of which state? Well, that depends too. The first thing you need to know is that common law marriages cannot be created in North Carolina. However, North Carolina will recognize
What is a Virtual Law Firm?
A virtual law firm is a law firm that does not have a bricks-and-mortar office, but operates remotely from home or a satellite office or “virtually” anywhere. Many traditional law firms already deliver some of their legal services via email. Many firms have internet portals that can be accessed by clients for file sharing and document review. There are businesses which are not actual law firms offering legal forms for sale online. The internet, email and other new technologies have become commonplace. What makes the
Going to court alone?
Abraham Lincoln once said that if you represent yourself you have a fool for a client. This is not always the case, but there is some wisdom in the saying. You wouldn’t consider performing surgery on yourself, would you? The number of unrepresented litigants is on the rise nationally and in North Carolina. The increase puts added strain on judges and clerks of court, and it may result in non-lawyers attempting to give legal advice. If you represent yourself, you risk not achieving your desired
Send Us Your Co-Parenting Tips
It’s time for new year’s resolutions. We promise ourselves we will eat better, exercise more, be better human beings. And more often than not, those promises take a back seat to the demands of every day. Part of the problem is that we set our sights too high. Rather than making these big promises to ourselves, perhaps we need to set goals and look at the incremental steps we need to take to move toward those goals. The same approach applies with divorced parents trying