It probably sounds to many people like divorce is far from collaborative. After all, a couple who once promised to be together forever are calling it quits. How can that be collaborative? Collaborative Divorce or Collaborative Family Law is not so much about the divorce itself being collaborative, but rather how the couple goes about separating and divorcing that can either make it collaborative or adversarial. Most of us understand what an adversarial divorce looks like. An adversarial divorce involves the filing of a lawsuit,
What are you afraid of?
Fear is a strong emotion. It can motivate you to action or it can paralyze you. Fear is an emotional experience, but it has physical effects on your body. In the evolutionary sense, fear was necessary. A scared animal usually flees, fights or freezes. Most people are no longer afraid of being mauled by a bear or devoured by a lion (although I confess that both seem quite unpleasant). These days, we are afraid of financial insecurity, not being accepted, having a health scare or
Black & White vs. Color
I have come to the conclusion that the internet is black & white. Life, on the other hand, is Technicolor. Big issues are rarely simple. Big questions do not usually come with simple yes or no answers. That is what makes today’s political divide so unproductive and dangerous. Increasingly, people discuss (that is a kind word for it) these thorny issues on social media and any opposing opinions are deemed wrong, stupid or evil. On a personal level, we can fall into the trap of
Uncertainty vs. Co-Parenting
You’ve got to ask yourself one question, “Do I feel lucky?” If not, it is best not to gamble in the first place. Unless you feel like you have a chance to “win”, you would never roll the dice, spin the wheel or buy the lottery ticket. My question to folks dealing with child custody and co-parenting goes one step further: Do you want your children’s welfare left to luck? Of course, that is not entirely fair. The court system is about much more
Merry Christmas From Irvine Law Firm
Why Is Harmony Good?
Ever wonder what it is about the Everly Brothers or Simon & Garfunkle that we find so appealing? Oops, sorry. I may be showing my age. OK, how about The Avett Brothers? What is it about the way Scott and Seth sing together that we find compelling? It’s harmony. Harmony, in the musical sense, is the combination of simultaneously sounded musical notes to produce chords and chord progressions having a pleasing effect. However, in a more general sense, harmony means agreement, accord, sympathy, peace. Harmony in this
The Parenting Coordinator
I recently completed my 24-hour Parenting Coordinator Training. So, what is a Parenting Coordinator? A Parenting Coordinator (sometimes called a “PC”) may be appointed by the court to help parents in carrying out the terms of their custody order. A PC may be appropriate if the parties agree or if the judge finds that the case is a high conflict custody case. If there is frequent litigation or the parents have difficulty communicating and agreeing on issues related to their children, a PC can help. Children exposed
You don’t have to go to court.
Going to court to settle your family disputes should be a last resort. It is a way to achieve a resolution, even if your adversary is unreasonable or refuses to cooperate. However, it is also the most inefficient, unfriendly and costly way to resolve any issue. The only people who really win in divorce litigation are the lawyers. You should look for an attorney who is dedicated to helping you resolve your problems, without creating new ones. Litigation turns private family issues and finances into a public